Three for One Day in Mayalan

Thursday, Januar 9, 2008:

Our village - Mayalan - is a fair-sized rural town. About 3000 people here overall but there is no running water, electricity (except that provided by solar panels or generators) or sewage system, except the old-fashioned variety that has served well for eons. We have no post office, no official police, no radio station, etc... You get the idea.

What we do have, as of about a year ago, is a brand-new solar powered digital cell phone tower care of ComCell! With the advent of modern cell phone system, it seems that a large segment of the local population has been able to scrape together enough Quetzales to buy one of the disposable phones that are sold so cheaply now. For a mere q200 (about $25) you can buy a phone and talk-time for 250 minutes!

This tower has revolutionized communications in this place. These days, it is common to see a small Mayan woman walking down the street with a large bowl of corn or maza on her head, a baby in a sling on her back, talking on a cell phone! Absolutely incredible. It is a good thing too, as it allows families here to stay in touch with the missing sons and husbands who have had to find work in Mexico or the US.

One of the old communication technologies here is still firmly operational, TALKING REALLY LOUD to make announcements. Actually, a megaphone hooked up to a car battery is used to make community announcements and to publicize special deals at the local tiendas.

Today was a three-fer day. Across the road from us there is a three-walled building about the size of a garage. The ground level of this building houses the tienda, “El Tigre”. The top level constitutes the living quarters of the proprietor, Don Andres, and his extended family, a group of about twenty. There is a roof over the second level but no walls. Most everyone sleeps in hammocks strung from the posts that support the roof. Potted plants strategically placed along the perimeter help prevent accidental gravity induced injuries.

This morning at about 7:00 am, El Tigre´s very, very loud loud-speaker was turned on for the purpose of publicizing today´s once-in-a-blue-moon event (three for one). The megaphone, mounted at the top of a tall pipe, was turned so as to make it more directionally effective.

For the longest time, a young lady by the name of Amelia has been tending the store and making the announcements. She was very good at what she did. Amelia was especially good at making the three-fer-one announcements that could get quite complicated, mathematically. She did have the unfortunate habit of yelling into the microphone – an unnecessary pre-amplification technique that was especially not necessary at 7:00 in the morning. Particularly when the speaker pole was rotated so that the megaphone points directly at our house, only a couple hundred yards away!

Yesterday, Amelia bolted. She up and ran off to Mexico with a mystery partner to seek her fortune as an independent agent. Due to her absence, her father and the owner of the tienda, Don Andres, decided to make the announcement himself. Mind you, Don Andres is not a completely unsophisticated Mayan campesino, but his skills lay more in the machete sharpening department than they do in public speaking or mathematics.

On Three-fer day, you can buy a phone card, used to charge-up your cell phone, and get three times the face value of the card. A Q25 (25 Quetzale) phone card will charge your phone up with Q75. A Q50 card will charge your phone with Q150 and a Q100 card that will apply Q300 - you get the picture. What a deal, right? Well, don’t underestimate the amount of math required to figure all that out AND make a public announcement at 7:00 in the morning. While Amelia had this script completely memorized and could rattle it off five or six (or more) times in a row, each in a slightly different direction, Don Andres had not.

The announcements always begin with a blazingly loud rendition of Mexican Pop Polka music, interrupted with a squeel as the cassette tape is ejected mid-stream. The announcements typically sound like (in Spanish, of course):

"Bueno! Bueno! Hrmmmphhh – Bueno. Today in the tienda El Tigre, you can buy live chicken, potatoes (special, eh), fresh cabbage, and phone cards. Buy a Q25 card and get a Q75 credit. Buy a Q50 card and receive a credit for Q150. Buy a Q100 card and you will get Q300 credit on your phone!" and so on.

This basic message is repeated perhaps five or size times, with the loud-speaker periodically pointed in different directions, having an astounding impact on the volume, depending of your location.

Because of Amelias absence, this morning, Don Andres took the mic and began the announcement in the standard fashion:
"Bueno! Bueno! Hrmmmmph. Today, ah, we are selling phone cards with a special, ah. Hmmmphhh, tap, tap tap. Ah Bueno!"

And, thus, he verbally fumbled for about three or four minutes without actually saying anything.
Presently, a new voice could be heard over the loudspeaker. A young lady, probably sister-in-law of Amelia, took the mic. She managed to say Bueno about six times, tapped the mic, got some of the phone card prices mixed up and gave up.

Next, one of the teenaged boys took over. He began with gusto and was well into the announcement when suddenly three or four of the other, less successful, family members began trying to coach him. The sound of urgent coaching was easily audible in the background over the PA. He hesitated, briefly tried to start-over, and finally gave up.
Passing the mic over to his five-year-old little cousin, Frasi.

Frasi is a spunky little five-year-old fireball of a girl and had practiced this particular script a few times under the tutelage of Amelia and done very well before. She also began with gusto, speaking at a volume level that would not be legal in most airport traffic areas, and was well into the announcement when suddenly the voices of the failed announcers could again be heard in the background. She hesitated, briefly tried to start-over, and after a few moments, seemingly ignored everyone and made a perfect rendition of what would be the official three-fer announcement. We know who is going to be making these announcements in the future, don't we?